I don't feel alright, in spite of these comforting sounds you make

I'm still frustrated from last night, I wait but I'm too tired to play pretend

Last night was one of the rare nights I actually got sleep, I feel better, something weird happened but before I must tell you some background information. I am a person who loves to be loved and I have a lack of male love in my life (not necessarily boy friend , although that would compensate for the lack of the other love, but anyways, I lack fatherly love, that close kind of love ) So the deal is I would go to sleep and be walked into the wonderful fantasy world where I had a boyfriend or a husband but he would always disappear at the end of the dream or it wouldn't really be clear enough for me to understand it and all I would be left is a feeling or a vague remembrance of what happened. Sad I know right but tonight I remember the whole dream, it was corny but it made me smile when I woke up so. I think I had it while the rest of my body was waking up so I don't remember how I got in a hotel but I was in one. I think it was like a group trip, and I was walking around and some talent scout approached me and gave me a flyer to an event they where having there that night to cast new talent. So I went and I find that it's like some weird reality TV show thing and they are making these kids make asses of themselves. So the show goes on break and I step outside and I see this beat up car and I look at it and then I go back inside and finish watching the show.So after about forty minutes of watching kids slide down escalators saying their lines trying to be funny, I go back out thinking about how I wish somebody could be here, but at this time I see the car from night rider, and I ask it who does it belong too and it tells me hova (Jay-z of course) and then I'm like okay. So the car decides to drive off and I'm chasing it but then I realize there's people behind me (I guess I was more interesting than the show)and so we're running and little do I know the guy I missed is behind me. I can't remember where I saw it but it was a guy on something that would like do anything to profess his love I think it was Good luck chuck(which sucked but that besides the point) So I 'm running and I don't even notice I ran through the night, why am I still chasing this car, no clue but I get subsided by a Marching Band. Umm really I have no clue why no one one told me not to run that way but it's a dream so I guess people don't have any sense of direction. So I have to stop and then I look beside me and there's this dude and he hands me a flip/notebook, and he tells me to look at something but I can't find it because he has drawn so many flip book stories. So I hand it to him and after flipping through his rendition of that "take me on" video he finds it and hands it to me. and it's a picture of me with a chunk missing out of my chest ( I know that sounds gory but really it doesn't look like that) and then he says something about how my heart is missing its key and that he is the key and that the only way to unlock my heart is to let him in (something like that, seems corny but at the time it had all the romanticism of a decent kiddie Cinderella-esque movie) so I kiss him and then my dream ended. So I guess that was the first time I every actually saw one of those dreams through. I don't know what it means yet, but I have a whole live to life, so I am thinking something will happen along these lines eventually. That's all for right now. I am currently going on an indie rock binge so I have some bands to check out and listen to. Hasta luega
Remember, Love like you were dying.