The District sleeps alone tonight

Alright well I obviously love music now don't I? I don't write here often because I get busy and things, but I find that when I am the busiest, that is the time I need to write in my blog the most. How sadly ironic is that? So I have been off in my own little world trying hard not to fall asleep in or fail a class, and somehow while doing all this I landed the part of Mrs. White in the very little known story of the Monkey's Paw. I really don't know how I got it. I just started acting, I have no experience, and yet I beat out all of the people who do, (I keep saying that so much, but I think(hope) that it's out of disbelief rather than boasting.) Oh well so I got it. I also decided to delete my Facebook account for the fiftieth time. I mean really things like facebook complicate your life, I would delete my myspace, but I worked too hard on those profiles. And besides it's not like there is anybody on there anymore. So I guess that's this week in review. Besides a lot of homework I have a lot of procrastinating to do. So I guess this is goodbye for now. Remember, love like you were dying.

And I still don't know exactly who I am. I never will Amen

Well I haven't written in a while not that I haven't felt an urge to it;s just that I didn't find it necessary. As you can probably figure out by now most of the topics that I talk about involve finding yourself and being human, which I guess is what's life is about but I must admit sometimes that gets annoying to talk about so, in the beginning of the blog entry I will get everything I have to say about life out of the way and then I will talk about other random things. Okay well over the past few months I have noticed that I have needed to become a better person and I have been on the road to become one ever since. And I have noticed that as I change other people do too, and it's weird to listen to a music artist that I listened to at the worst times of my life and related to then, and listen to their new album, which is about the same things from a new view and realize how much people can change. At first this said artist seemed hostile and nervous apprehensive about a lot of things, but in this album they seemed to have realized that they are ready to change, and how no matter how much they want to go back to that relationship or how much they want to cower under past behavior they can't. It's not good for them or the people they love. And now it's time for them to take their flaws(which is originally what held them back in the first place) that may never change and try and make themselves a new person and start something else, a new chapter. And even though I haven't experienced what they have I can really relate with that theme. I think being able to understand most of these feeling can possibly prepare me for the harder times of life. Hopefully I won't let anything break me. But I think that I can say that at this time in my life I am not afraid of what there is to come. I can't wait for my first heartbreak, my first child, I just can't wait for it all. I wish I could press the fast forward button and see how it plays out or at least get a taste, but where's the fun in that? I guess I just have to wait to see how this story ends. But hopefully that will be a long time from now

Okay now to change the subject. (not really)Motion City Soundtrack's(they are the band I was talking about)new album is nice. I would go as far as to say beautiful, but only in a simple way. Compared to their second album, it's kind of stripped down and slightly cliched, but I think that's mostly the point of it. The songs are really simple and melodious and very introspective in the classic MCS style. I wouldn't say it's the best album I ever heard, but it's a refreshing reminder of how music can depict feelings perfectly.

Okay here we got the unrelated topic. I recently got assigned a locker at school, (which I will never use) and when I opened I found one of the copies of the Leonardo da vinci notebook. And all I have to say is wow, the artwork is gorgeous, and it's obvious the man knew what he was doing. The detail of the human anatomy he pointed out, is something humans don't stand still long enough to notice. I love it.

Also another thing, the new Fall Out Boy video is wonderful, and it really gives the young people of today who have occupied their time with Ipods and how bad Britney Spears has gotten something else to think about, other than themselves of course. And that's all I have to say about that (Forrest Gump Reference anyone?) Anyways take care of each other and then we won't have to worry about much. Love.

No alarms and no suprises/ The Tourist

Those songs are really pretty and very insightful. Radiohead, check it out.

Anyways have you ever had a feeling that everything would be okay not matter how shitty things got? I know it's kind of weird to be in your teens and talking about stuff like that, but if you've been through enough stuff and you recognize that you are growing person I guess not. This time last year I was about to get the worst news of my life that would mark the beginning of a slightly downward spiral that didn't even get better when the year ended.And Ironically it took me going back to the place(the actual place, not being metaphorical here) where the the life changing news had happened, seeing that even in the most dire conditions that change can happen, to learn that things are not always as bad as they seem. I know it's all been said before but you don't actually believe it until you experience it. It 's like things are bad but I could be dead or dying, but I am not. I am here. I am living. I am breathing. And nothing can keep me from that truth. Only I can.(whoa, big "Anthem" (the book)moment) I know that in some circumstances it's necessary to die, physically. But I will never let my spirit die. Believe me I have come close to it but I have made up my mind and I am will not allow that to happen.But back to the epiphany. It was weird. I was reading an email from a friend of mine and he was talking about how he couldn't believe people he knew were going off to college. Which is something I had been thinking about all week. And then (not necessarily in this order) I had reached the conclusion that everything was going to be just fine. I was on facebook and then I read this quote

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."

And it was oddly enlightening. It just made me feel better about everything. I know it's weird to be reassured by a quote but it makes sense right?So yeah, I mean I was already into the whole Taoism philosophy of life as noted in previous blogs, but I mean looking back on the past year and realizing how far as a person I have come and how far I have to go. It just all makes sense and it makes me want to get finished with school, love my friends more and life live fuller. I haven't done that in a while(mostly since I was five) And I think it's time that I did something about that.
Oh and yes I do know that this blog is repetitive, but so are most things. (cycles, inside jokes, Some emphasized points, college books and some professors, etc.)And expect grammatical errors.