If you choke near me I might save you, but I think you rather die than feel the wrath of a woman scared.

Well damn you to the person who almost choked in front of me today. I know I've worn that look on my face a couple of times, but how dare you make me almost watch you die? How dare you. I would have saved you but, it took you so long to try and get what you wanted to say out. I thought you were either going to puke or choke. I really would have tried, but the human brain moves too slow(even the doctors) and even the right reaction might be the wrong one. I asked you afterwards what was really going on and you said a little bit of both, and I shunned you. That's all I could do. How dare you put me in that situation. I would love if it I never would have to feel that way again, but I know I will. So I guess My anger wanted me to say, Damn you! how dare you make me feel that way before I really had to grow up?

It's these substandard hotels...appealing only 'cause their just that unappealing

Well I never once in my life thought that I would be able to see the place that a musician wrote about but, I guess I should have considered the possibility.Go to http://lyricsondemand.com/p/panicatthediscolyrics/buildgodthenwelltalklyrics.html and read the lyrics. you know the hotel part. Yeah I stayed there.Not in the exact place, but the weird equivalent to it. I had to go to Starkville, MS, for a competition. And when we got there we pulled into this motel. I thought that we were going to turn around, but I was sadly mistaken. We got our room key and ran in, and when we set foot in the door, we should have ran away. The place was sleazy. It looked like the place you rent out for a quickie.(if you were a drug addict) It was dirt on the walls(I don't even want to know how it got there) Pubic hair on the towels(apparently not washed) and weird fluid(seemingly semen) on the sheets"the shade of the sheets and before all the stains" It was sick, the ice bucket shit stuff in it, and the ironing board was gross. But luckily, my mom who is a weird germophobe had packed disinfectant spray. So I guess this was the only thing that kept me from sleeping outside.But other than this it was a good vacation. Oh yeah, the place was crawling with sex offenders and weird cheap people. Half of it was demolished for only god knows why, and the exit signs pointed to impending suicides.We went on a scavenger hunt and we found another part of the hotel. It looked like it hadn't been refurnished since the early nineties, and alot of the rooms looked like crime scenes.and the sad thing is I would have rathered to stay there. And there were random brooms places, and weird people smoking. Sounds fun huh? yeah it was.

You know that you are in dangerous "single"territory when your dreams start to give you the perfect person

Jeez. How long can I be single really? I mean those people that say your dreams are gateways to things to come must have a manual someplace in theirs because after I wake up from any sort of good dream I have (which is rare anyway) I am always like what the f***? And you know those dreams that end too soon? Yeah the goods ones for me are always like that. Like last night. I had another dream about someone who loved me. But as always I was only left with who the person sounded like or who he might have looked like.No Name. Just a vision and a feeling. I am getting tried of being lonely. and there is so much Isolation can take. I mean some days I want to be alone, but not like this. I miss them already....

Texas is fun to visit, but apparently not to live(well it depends on who you are)

I just got back from a cool trip to Texas, and I found out that even though it may be in better developmental stages than where I am living now, it is certainly not in better social stages. When I went to the malls everybody seemed to be lost in some sort of trance that prohibited them from being able to speak to people. But when I found the ever rare "talkative one" I often found that they didn't really like their job. Most of these people where clerks, and they always sounded like they had something better do rather than work(either that or talk to me)the words that I am using may make these wonderful people sound bad, but they are not. They are wonderful and interesting people, who got stuck in a seemingly boring place. It's amazing to me how you can have over sixty stores, and a skating rink and still not be able to have a good time. I mean I live in a place where we are looking at malls leaving rather than coming, and no skate parks, and we still find some way to have a good time. Even if it does mean going to the same mall or movie theater, fifty times.Thanks for the people at Hot Topic who replaced my nail polish and held conversations with me, even though I came back in the store like five times. Thanks to the dude from Galleria drugs who talked to me.It's nice to know that some days you want out of the store.And thanks to the dude at Spencer's...Lovely..And thanks to the maintenance man at the Crowne Plaza I really wanted to ride the elevators longer though.