How could you forget your yellow bird?

Okay first an explanation.In case you don't know my blog titles are music lyrics, I do this because most of the time they are stuck in my head and I don't know why and then I get home and see something that disturbs me or moves me and most of the time the song fits. Kinda like a warning in a way. Also I have a hard time expressing how I feel and sometimes a music lyric just does it.Anyways back to the point...

I was on AOL looking for something and then I read about this kid who shot nine people at his school. The reason I don't really know but, it has been inferred that it was some kind of revolutionary action. But it pained me to see that we are moving backwards. I mean the school shootings are going up (or maybe we are just now noticing) I feel like I am back in the nineties when Columbine happened. Everyone was afraid but they didn't really do anything about it. Yeah sure they came out with all these clubs and hotlines, but they didn't change. They didn't make anything better. Having read Fight Club (okay you are just going to have to deal with me referring to that book a lot for at least the next month) I can understand how violence is really just a cry for change. I am not saying it is right or just. But I am saying I can understand why the kid who turns on his tv and sees the same shit that happened twenty years ago happening while he is alive feels an urge to break something. It is maddening to look around and see the potential for change and nothing happening to make it kinetic. Pretty soon we are going to run out of potential and be left in the dark.

I really hope that We can prove the Mayans wrong

I am sick of going in retrograde motion. It's hard to swim foward when the current's against you. I know you aren't supposed to fight it, but it's pushing towards a cliff with jagged rocks at the bottom and I don't wanna die that way. I am so close to the tree branch that I can use to pull myself up, but there is too much against me. I am sick of waiting. I am sick of talking about what I am sick of. When will I actually get off my ass and do something? I don't know but it needs to be soon. I am graduating in the year of 2010. Exactly in the middle. Two years after a new president is elected. Two years before the world ends. Can't wait for the ending of this book. I guess in the meantime all I can do is love the people I am around, try to influence as many people as I can and change minds. I always wondered if I was going to die young.
The fear of dying is my greatest motivation, When I was little I used to worry about my grandparents dying, Of course because they were old. When my cousin died at the age of seventeen, I realized that anybody not just old people die. Even if they don't deserve it. So if that is true it could happen to me. So why not do what I love while I have the time to do it?

She said this one will bring you love, I don't know if it's true but I keep it for good luck.